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2003-06-25 - 3:57 p.m. I had a bad dream last night. In my dream, my ex husband was telling me he was going to marry his current girlfriend. He also said she was the one he loved; he�d never loved me, not even when we were together. In the middle of the dream, he turned into The Crush, who also told me that not only he loved anyone else, he could never ever love someone like me: he was too good for me. Eesh. I had dinner with The Crush and Little Miss Muffet on Monday, after our study group. Study group, of course, defining rather loosely what happened, as we talked about the test for about half an hour and then, mainly, chatted about other stuff. Little Miss Muffet is absolutely adorable, very pert and smart, just a bit too innocent and maybe too loud for her own good. A nice, sweet girl. The Crush� ah, The Crush. He�s amazing, even better than I thought. We tend to like the same books. As he says, the only thing better than Dostoievski is Machado de Assis. Which freaked me out. Since I usually say exactly that, maybe reversing the order. He even likes T.S. Elliot, John Donne and Fernando Pessoa. Could he be more perfect for me? He basically named some of my favorite authors, without prompting. He likes and knows about the good things in life, about books and wines and even clothes. But he doesn�t show off. His tastes are for his own pleasure, not to impress other people. He worked his way up to the top; the money he makes (as opposed to so, so many other people I know) is his own, not his parents�. But he�s obviously in love. Not with me. Obviously. I�ll talk more about this later. This�ll count as half an entry, because I really have to study for my test tonight, which will also be the last time I�ll see The Crush. I�m not happy.
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